The Bells (rewrite)
by TempeGeller
Summary: Every time a new Targaryen is born, he said, the gods toss the coin in the air and the world holds its breath to see how it will land.
1. Chapter 1

**The Bells (Rewritten)**

_Chapter one: The moment everything matters_

I have waited for this moment for years, I, however, didn't think I would arrive at this moment like this. Jorah is dead, so are Missandei, Visirion and Rhaegal. My heart burns when I think about it. All I want to do is protect Drogon like he's my child. I will never get children, even if Jon says the source is not credible. I came to terms with it a long time ago.

I look out of the sky, and I was born in this castle on the worst storm the country had ever seen. This castle belongs to me by birthright, so does the iron throne. No one will take it away from me.

The door opens us; a tray is pushed inside. The servants are avoiding me, and I think they feel fear. I look at the food; no part of me wants to eat it — not a single.

I think about what I will need to do. I haven't eaten since Rhaegal and Missandei died. For some reason, the feeling is getting to me. Whenever I feel a strong emotion, I tend to stop eating. Now it is worse than before. I walk towards the tray and look at it. It's the best the North has to offer, and I would eat it out of gratitude. I, however, know I would be sick.

I turn around, sitting down on the bed. I know what to do right? I attack King's Landing. I take back that was taken from me. I…

Then I don't know what to do anymore. Years my image was clear. Sir Jorah was supposed to be at my side. Missandei, Visirion and Rhaegal were supposed to be at my side, but they're not, because of her. The image of Cersei Lannister enters my mind. Her eyes turned to me as she gives the command. I see no blood when they behead Missandei, and it's too far even to see. At that moment I think I'm about to faint, I'm about to take actions I shouldn't. Tyrion watches me. He tells me to think about what I do that we are at a disadvantage.

So I don't do anything. The moment keeps coming to my mind, was there anything I could have done to prevent her death? To prevent Rhaegal's dead? All of it was my fault.

I walk to the tray in a fast way and throw it out of the window. I scream, loud, I don't care who hears me. There are tears in my eyes, I'm supposed to be calm and collected, but I feel like I'm going mad.

Mad, I shouldn't be using that word. My father was mad, and we all know where that brought me — murdered by his own Kingsguard.

If I'm mad, I might be as worst as him. The thing I have tried to deny for so long and I feel like it's happening to me. I stand up, and I scream again, out of pain, out of anger. I clench my teeth together. I walk to the end of the bed and drop myself on it. I cry again. The emotion is to bad, and I have no one to talk to. I only have Jon, my nephew. The one that has a higher claim to the throne. The one that could take it from me. So I know that he's told Sansa and Arya about that birthright and I know that it will not stay quiet. They will think he's more…

I can't think about it. Dany, don't think about it.

I stand up again. I am walking from one side of the room to the other. That is when my attention goes to the only possession Missandei had. I think about the last thing Missandei said. She said Dracarys. It is a simple message; she tells me to burn them. I don't know whom she means by it. I look at the door; slowly, I take a breath. There is no plan of attack, but for some reason, I want to get it over with.

In my mind, I hear a voice.

'Ever time a Targaryen is born, the god flips a coin.' Did my coin land on Mad? I look at the tables, books all over it. I had reading it. I throw the books to the ground, yes, I do think my coin landed on mad. I think about my brother and wonder if I'm like him. Right now, I need Jorah, and I need him to tell me that I'm not mad. That I can still be a good ruler, but there is no one here who loves me anymore. All feelings I call in them in fear. Fear.

It's a feeling; I tell myself — a powerful emotion. Also, I'm feeling it myself. A Feeling to lose the little I have left. I think about Jon again, how I love him. I put my hand to my head as I feel dizzy. I sit down again. The days of not feeding myself are getting to me and the only food I had I threw out of the window. I scream again, and no one hears, I guess. If they had, they would have been here instances.

I hear Olenna Tyrell, telling me to be a dragon. Dragons don't do well in the north, my dragons hadn't been eating over there, but it seems a dragon doesn't handle emotion that well. I turn around.

_DRACARYS._

_DRACARYS._

_DRACARYS._

"SHUT, UP!" I scream.

"My grace." A voice. When I turn around, I find Tyrion Lannister watching me. He looked terrified, and I assume he heard me scream. When I turn around, his face changed. I have doubt in me, or he is going to tell me something I didn't like. I turn my face a little bit.

"We can bring up more food if you please." A smile appears on my face as I nod.

"Someone betrayed you."

This wasn't new information, it was Jon, who betrayed me. Jon who told the truth. Sansa, who had not been able to keep her mouth shut. I look at him, as he tells me it was Varys. Varys who wants Jon Snow on the Iron Throne. I look at Tyrion as he tells me that he was the one who told Varys. And he says to me that I should have told him. I would never have told Tyrion; I wanted this information to remain a secret. I turn around. I tell him we know what to do, and he looks to me in fear.

I didn't think it about it when I let them get Varys. I guess my mind was silent for a few seconds. I hated how we were meeting in the dark. I hated that Jon was by my side and he hadn't said a single word. When Varys arrived before me, he looked me in the eye. He believed I was mad; he thought I would. My mind went in overdrive. I thought about what I was about to do. I was going to burn him for betraying me.

"Goodbye, old friend," Tyrion whispered.

"Lord Varys" I can't breath. "I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons sentence you to die."

He expects, I didn't hear the last words he said. I know I should say the word, the word that has been whispered in my ear again and again, but I can't to it. I think about Sam Tarly, and I murdered his father and brother, I didn't show mercy. I had made a mistake. I had been mad. I want to scream, but at this moment I can't.

_Every time a Targaryen is born, the gods flip a coin, and the people hold their breath._

_Hold their breath._

_Burn them all._

_Burn them all._

_DRACARYS._

I close my eyes for a moment. I bite my lip once again, feeling Drogon behind me, to pass sentence. I close my eyes. I don't know how long passed; when I open my eyes, I see Varys still in fear before me. Fear, the thing everyone hears feels — even the people beside me.

_DRACARYS_

That damn word. Burn. Them. All. I heard in my head. Burn. Him. My father did this to the uncle of Jon and his grandfather. I did this. It wouldn't be different from what I did to the Tarly's. And yet I have a choice here; I feel this is the moment I decide. I hear myself say I should show them I'm mad. It would be easier. I listen to a voice say he deserved it. And then I heard something else. Jorah. The one I showed mercy, time and time again.

I…

"Let this be an example of me…" I pause. What should I add to this? "Kindness."

I can see that Varys, still thinks he will die. I take a step forward.

"Today Lord Varys, I, will show you mercy." I don't feel relieve in Varys eyes. I see the confusion. When I look at Jon and Tyrion, I see the same confusion. I know I might have shown weakness, but it doesn't feel like it. I walk away and return to my room. I sit down.

What did I do, did I let someone betray me? I didn't take what I needed with Fire and Blood. When I looked in the mirror, I finally liked my reflection again. A knock came at the door.

I spent the next few hours, sitting in my room. I read a bit, but I noticed I couldn't keep my attention to it. People had come inside, and they had told me that Jamie Lannister had gotten past our defences.

Tyrion and Grey Worm entered the room.

"The people in King's Landing are innocents." I looked at him. "Like the people in Slaver's Bay."

"The people in Slaver's bay liberated themselves. They fought…"

"You don't know what Cersei is like, what she can be like." I heard him speak; he called the people of King's Landing hostages. People I didn't want to hurt. I thought about what I had done to Varys. And I thought about what I needed to do to the town. He talked about not attacking the city, but I needed to. I needed to liberate King's landing.

"The city will know no more tyrants."

"Please…" He looked at me. "If you hear them ring the bells, call of the attack."

I looked at Grey Worm and told him he would know what to do.

"Mercy is our strength…"

"And your brother has wanted to get past our line of defence," I said. "We captured him."

That was when I closed my eyes; after a few seconds, Jon entered the room. I couldn't read his emotion. I looked at him, as I walked towards him. I had fear in this country. He stepped towards me, as he looked me in the eye. He wanted to tell he was surprised that I didn't kill Varys, but he didn't say a word.

"No one loves me." I was sad as I turned away from him.

"I love you."

And for some reason, I didn't believe him. I didn't believe that he loved me. I told him to go; I needed to be by myself. A big part of me wanted to talk, but that part didn't have control. I sat down; I looked from the sky. Only a few hours, until the attack. A few hours until the future of King's Landing would be signed. I lay down and tried to find a peaceful sleep, but it wouldn't come.

_BURN THEM ALL._

_BURN THEM ALL._

_BURN THEM ALL._

_DRACARYS._

I awoke with a scream. I kept hearing the words 'burn them all'. For some reason, in the voice of my father, a voice that I never in my life had heard. I thought about Virerys. He would have set fire to King's Landing. He would have done it without blinking. I wondered if he were the brother I wanted to follow. Then I thought about Rhaegar, sweet Rhaegar, the brother I heard tales about. And I thought about what he would have done. I knew nothing about him. I stood up.

It was time; I thought as I walked outside. I got on Drogon and left for King's Landing.

When I got on my dragon, I felt good. This was my birthright. The wind went past me as I flew in the sky. The world beneath me. And for some reason, I thought about what Viserys had said. People would wave their flags in happiness that I was coming back. Today there would be no flags; they didn't know who I was or what I stood for. Today there would be fear.

_DRACARYS!_

I heard it again in my ears, I knew somewhere was King's Landing I was almost there. What would I do if the bells ringing? Would I show mercy once again?

When a Targaryen is born, the gods flip a coin, and we hold our breath.

My mind went silent as I dove down. I didn't need to say the words, Drogon knew precisely what he needed to do. He needed to take out the Golden Company; he needed to take out the fleet. The moment I descended, the army attacked as well. I looked at my goal and took out whom I needed to take out. I looked around me, beneath me, I heard screams. People were going to the red keep to find safety. Fear I could smell it.

_BURN THEM ALL!_

_BURN THEM ALL!_

_BURN THEM ALL!_

And for some reason, I burned the soldiers. I felt mercy for them, but this was a battle, and I was doing what any conquer would do. I took what I wanted. When everyone outside the gate had been gone, I burned the gates. The army ran inside, right upon the gate. There the Lannister forces were waiting for us. Their golden lions were shining in the firelight. And for just a second my army stared at them. A descended on the roofs of the city. No one would be able to hurt Drogon. They were Helpless.

In front of me, I saw how the Lannister army dropped their weapons.

"Ring the bells!" I heard voices say.

I heard everything in that second, the screams, the voices begging to ring the bells. However, I heard no bells. No bells. Was I hoping to hear them? What would I do if they did ring?

_BURN THEM ALL!_

My heart started to beat, and it melted together with the screams. 'Be a dragon', 'Be a dragon'. What would a dragon do? Would it burn everything, or did it show mercy? I closed my eye; again, I felt the need to scream. Scream for someone to hear. And then it came, the bells — the sign of defeat. I looked at the people, running away from me. Inside was Cersei with tricks up her sleeve. Would I get to her if I hurt these people? Would she be hurt as I had been?

I closed my eyes; the bells kept ringing. And I heard Missandei in my head. 'Burn them all'.

_ALL MEN MUST DIE!_

I closed my eyes. I was a dragon; dragons were conquerors, they burned down cities. I needed to do this. I wanted to make Drogon fly again, starting to burn everything. I heard the voices, but I didn't do anything. I was mad. Mad. Mad. I began to hyperventilate, hate going through my body. Would Cersei get hurt?

I looked at the people. No. Cersei would not get hurt. She would destroy these people to get what she wants; I would not hurt Cersei for what she had taken from me. I would not get anything by burning down the city. I heard voices in my head. MAD, MAD. It kept screaming.

And then the voice of Jorah entered my mind. He had given his life so I would be Queen. A good Queen wouldn't do this. A good Queen would protect her people. And that moment I decided, I turned to the army.

"Seize the Lannister men," I spoke. "And get Cersei Lannister. She will pay for what she has taken from me. She will…"

I looked at King's Landing. And for some reason, the fear of madness remained in me. I sat there, staring at King's Landing. And Drogon was with me. My last child.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: A strange balance**

_Daenerys Targaryen_

I don't know how long I stared at the streets of King's Landing. People started to calm down, but the fear remained present at all times. Sometimes I felt they were staring at me as they stared at any foreigner. When panic had died, they came forward staring at me. Some children pointed, almost like they recognised the idea of me. A Targaryen staring down at them. I didn't know what they were thinking at the moment, Viserys said King's Landing always prayed for our return. They would come outside waving their Targaryen banners. There were no banners in the city, and I doubted if anyone wanted us to come.

I hadn't attacked them, and now I wondered again why. I wanted to be a queen, a queen that was loved. I was building a road to that. However, I didn't see any love. I didn't know what they were feeling at this moment. In front of me, I watched how the Lannister Soldiers were captured. I told them to capture them. I know my army expected me to be ruthless, but I couldn't bring myself to kill them. I was in no mental state to make decisions like that.

I wanted to tell Drogon to fly away. I wanted things, but all I could do was stare at the streets. A significant portion of the Unsullied would accompany the Dorthraki up to the red keep. That moment I thought about flying to the red keep myself, I thought about going straight for Cersei. I closed my eyes for a moment; I was sure that the unsullied would bring Cersei out. She would not escape her punishment. When I looked around, I saw Tyrion Lannister walking in my direction.

Tyrion was a clever man, but over the time he had made serious mistakes, that caused me loss. Sometimes I blamed him for it, but his advice kept with me no matter what. When I looked at him, I saw the relief on his face. He smiled at me, almost thanking me that I hadn't done the unthinkable. I wanted to get of Drogon, but I didn't. High up, I felt like I wasn't part of this situation — almost the same feeling I had during the battle of Winterfell. There were moments up in the air; I almost felt that I wasn't part of this fight. Like I was watching it from a distance, without actually being a part of it.

I don't know how much time passed, but I remembered the moment that Grey Worm walked back to the rest of the army. The first thing I noticed that Cersei wasn't there. I looked at Tyrion for a second; for some reason, there was no confusion on his face. Somehow I thought he knew that Cersei Lannister wouldn't be waiting for them. How did he know? I did not know. A small second I thought about attacking King's Landing again, but I knew the person I hated the most wasn't there anymore. Or at least that was what I believed Grey Worm would say.

"We searched the red keep." Grey Worm said. "It seems that Cersei Lannister escaped, right after your hand helped Jamie Lannister escape."

My eyes turned to Tyrion Lannister. He had let his brother escape, and Jamie Lannister had helped Cersei escape. A wave of anger went through my body. He had betrayed me as Varys had betrayed me. I had shown people that I could show mercy and Tyrion Lannister had used that opportunity to betray me. I flew Drogon to the red keep. There I would decide what to do.

The people looked at me as I flew in the sky. There was amazement in their eyes. It was the first time they had seen a dragon and only now wonder was coming through their eyes. The moment that their city was no longer in danger. I landed a bit before the red keep, behind me there were a few soldiers of the unsullied watching me. I told them to bring Tyrion Lannister to the throne room. I would deal with him now.

I looked at the city; it remained unburned. And somehow I feared what Cersei Lannister's next move would be.

* * *

I had imagined how the Iron Throne would look. My brother had told me it contained over a thousand swords. As an infantile girl, I pictured a throne that was just as tall as my dragon. I couldn't tell the difference between twenty swords and the thousand. To me, the throne was big. It was majestic. And to my brother, it was his birthright. Not mine, his. He said a girl would never be the queen of the seven kingdoms. And I was a girl. I was his way up. He wouldn't believe it if I told him I was the one who made her way to the Iron Throne. I looked at it; somehow, I thought it would be bigger. Somehow I would believe that I would love the moment when my eyes graced the iron throne, but I felt nothing. It was an object formed of knives.

I walked closer, so many men had been on this throne, ruling the seven kingdoms. And somehow I pictured myself on it too. I imagine myself with Jorah next to me. Jorah, the voice from the darkness, speaking sanity in my head. My powerful voice of reason. And this moment I remembered that he should have been here with his advice.

I wanted to sit down on the throne, but I couldn't. Everything was too much. Cersei Lannister had escaped my reach. She was somewhere out there, in the belief that she had won. She could make a plan. In the hands of Cersei Lannister, anything could be dangerous. I looked at the throne once again. She had probably been the first queen of the Seven Kingdoms.

I didn't know anything about Cersei Lannister, but I knew that I should not underestimate her. She used anyone as a part in her game — even Tyrion Lannister, who had never gotten away from her power. Love was the most terrible of all; it made people betray what they believed in.

A soft footstep came towards me; when I looked up, I saw it was Tyrion Lannister and Grey Worm. Grey Worm nodded at me as he left the room. Tyrion wasn't smiling.

"You betrayed me," I said. "You helped your brother escape, knowing very well he would…"

Tyrion Lannister didn't walk any closer. He stood there, looking me in the eye. He didn't react right away. He just stood there. Then he stepped closer, his eyes on mine.

"If your brother was alive." Somehow he stopped walking. His eyes turned to the ground. "Wouldn't you do everything to save Rhaeger from his fate? That's what I did, I…"

"You save your brother." I closed my eyes. "Your sister. Tyrion Lannister, you have to understand how this makes me look. Your actions, how noble they might be, can cause me to lose everything."

He became quiet; he hadn't expected a reasonable answer. He assumed I would scream at him, blame him for what he had done, but I decided not to go this way. I looked him in the eye; he understood what I was saying.

"Cersei Lannister is out there with a hunger for power and a need for revenge." I walked towards him. "If we could capture her, we would know where she was; we would know what to expect. With her out there, we're all at risk. Tyrion, I understand you believed I would do the worst thing possible. For a minute, I almost wanted to do the worst thing. You thought as a sibling and not as my hand. You're supposed to have faith in me, but you don't."

"My excuses, my grace." He looked at me. He reached towards the pin on his shirt, almost trying to remove it. I shook my head.

"Tyrion, Lannister, you will remain my hand." I looked at him. "You have failed me, but I still have faith in you. You have told me your opinion time, and time again, I need someone by my side who knows the moves of Cersei Lannister and will protect the land the best way he can."

"My grace, Cersei is unpredictable." He looked at me. "I have made a mistake not being a proper hand. But I urge if you find Cersei, I ask you to show mercy. She's pregnant."

"Tyrion, I don't know if I can." I closed my eyes. "What she has taken from me, she has not just betrayed you, but the country. She chose not to send her armies. She killed Missandei."

"And she killed Missandei." He looked at me. "Find a punishment for her. Something that won't kill her."

I looked at him, and I gave him a soft nod. I looked at the throne once again, was I the Queen of King's Landing or was I the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. I didn't know for sure; I knew that I had taken the Red Keep. It had fallen. Tyrion looked at me.

"You can sit on it." He said. "You are the Queen, after all."

"It doesn't feel right." I stepped closer to the Iron Throne. "Years I have yielded to be here, and now I feel that the price was too high. I deserve this by birth, but I wonder, is that okay?"

"What my Queen?"

"Inheriting a position." I looked at him. "In Meereen, I earned their trust; I liberated people. I was the queen they chose. Here I am…"

"So prove you deserve their loyalty." He stepped towards me. "You are doing well already. You didn't burn the city to the ground; you only attacked the armies. You showed mercy to their leader. Now you need to show King's Landing you are kind. They're simple; you show them respect, and they will show you the very same."

A smile appeared on my face. I looked him in the eye; if I showed them respect, they would return it to me. I walked towards the window. I thought again about the banners flying. The people hadn't been sewing them, praying for anyone's return. They had been doing the same thing I had, surviving. I looked from the window, a bit of the outskirt of the city was destroyed, but that was about it. I told myself I had destroyed what could have killed my dragon. I destroyed the ships that took Rhaegal from me. I thought about what Viserys would say if he knew I was in this room.

The pressure of our entire family on his shoulders. Maybe that was why he had never shown me any respect. I was the ends to a mean. He had never been a good older brother to me. Sometimes I believed he hated me because mom died when giving birth to me.

"Viserys used to say people were making banners and praying for his return." I looked to my feet. "I guess they weren't praying for my return, I'm…"

"Look, you have to earn loyalty." He replied. "Not just from the lords and ladies, but from everyone."

"I have to know your honest opinion." I looked at Tyrion. "Is there any chance that Cersei will find an army and take back King's Landing?"

He didn't respond; he looked at me. I understood that he didn't know what Cersei would do. Neither did she know where she would go. I looked at him; then I walked away from the Iron Throne. I had heard that the moment you got everything you wanted, it wouldn't be worth it. And somehow I didn't believe that I should be on the iron throne, at least not alone. I knew who I needed to speak to more than anything.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three: A thin line between fear and desperation**

* * *

I've heard people say you feel high and mighty before you unforeseen defeat. Would my reign only last this long? Would I be the Targaryen with the shortest reign ever? The idea made me scared, all this time, I had been waiting for this point, and a pity mistake had brought me to this situation of uncertainty. I wondered if I should have flown for the red keep, the moment the bells rang. I wondered if I should have taken Cersei Lannister out with fire. And that moment I didn't know if it was the right thing to do. I wouldn't have been here if I had done so.

I once heard a powerful ruler say: 'nothing important happened today', in the face of rebellion. The next day he had been publicly executed. Was this my destiny?

Right this moment I couldn't believe the people would ever pick me as their ruler. I had shown them mercy but was that enough to win their loyalty. I had tried to hard to keep them fed, to bring life in the capital back to normal.

All this time, I had been in the throne room, staring at the throne. For some reason, I believed it would have been bigger. It would have been worth all the sacrifices I made for it, but the longer I stared at this object, the more it seemed that I shouldn't have suffered over it. Maybe I should have remained where I was, where I didn't need to do anything to win the love of the people. I always believed this throne was my birthright, but more than ever, I understood that loyalty was one of the things that could never be inherited.

I was here on the legacy of the mad King, who had promised everyone he'd burn them all. And that memory seemed stuck in their memory. It was a tale told by millions and not easily erased from my narrative. However, I wanted to step in front of the people, telling them I was not my father. That was the moment the fear seeped back in me, what if I possessed the same Targaryen madness everyone talked about? What if I went made like my father and more Targaryens that I could ever count.

I sat on the steps, looking at the large room in front of me. I thought about the last moments of my father's life. Of how he must have felt when Jamie Lannister stabbed him in the back. For some reason, I could never make a connection to that point in his life, and even now, I felt far removed from my father. Were the tales truth? And if he once was a just ruler, what had brought him to madness? In what point in his life did he decide he needed to burn them all? In what moment did he become the mad king?

In the far corners, I heard a footstep; I didn't want to see anyone at this moment. I was sure that they couldn't say anything to bring me peace of mind and that was what I needed. I needed to feel happiness; I needed to be told I had done the right thing. That was what I needed to be told, but somehow, I couldn't convince myself. The footsteps came closer as I stood up; my eyes braced the throne for a second. Then I turned my eyes to the opening of the door.

There was Jon Snow, a nobleman; he bowed when he entered the room. Somehow I felt that this movement still felt foreign to me. I could never see Jon as anything but my equal. He stepped closer to me, what did I feel for this man? My nephew. I still hadn't gotten to terms that we were related. I knew it wasn't a weird relationship for Targaryen, but I couldn't shake the feeling that he was Rhaegar's son. The brother I had never known. I looked at him and closed my eyes for a moment.

"It's your, my grace." He said. And for some reason, I couldn't describe the fear to sit on that cursed throne. I kept seeing flashes in front of me, the mad king burning Jon's uncle and grandfather right away. My father sat there, without a care in the world. If I sat down in that chair, that could be me. Was it the throne that made people go mad? No, I decided. Viserys had been made and had never sat in this throne for a moment. It was somewhere on the inside, a madness that would be there our whole lives. I looked at Jon, wondering if it would be there boiling beneath his skin.

I turned around, walking over the marble floor. I stared to the sky, up there a mosaic of history. All the battles of the Targaryens were there, and in the back, I could see the defeat of my father and the battle of the trident, where brother lost his life. Everywhere the dragons were edged in the walls, dragons of many generations of Targaryens.

"Is there any sight of Cersei?" I looked at him. "And Jamie?"

"No sight." Jon stepped closer to me. "Do you think they'll be dumb enough to return? They probably sailed off to Bravos, where they are choosing a quiet life with their child."

"Or they're still here, waiting to take back what is theirs."

"She is outnumbered; there is no way she can take King's Landing back."

That was the moment I wasn't sure if Jon was right. Maybe Cersei didn't want to take King's Landing back. Perhaps she wanted to make me look bad. She had tried to make me look like a weak leader; she was hoping I would give up. I knew Cersei would do something with her dying breath, but I had no idea what. I had no idea when. And I wondered what she was capable of.

"I should have flown for the red keep right there and then." I felt anger rising in my body. "I should have burned her, and the red keep down."

"You made the right decision…" He paused; it was clear he didn't know how to address me at this moment. "Dany."

"I know I made the right decision." I looked at me; I felt a strong emotion going through my body. In a matter of a second, I could have sacrificed a lot of people, to get my revenge. I hadn't done the thing Misandei said and sometimes I could feel anger in Grey Worm's eyes, almost like I expected to give him justice. And I wanted to tell him that he would get his justice. I, however, wouldn't kill people to provide him with that revenge. I wanted to talk to Jon about my feelings, but that was the moment I knew I had never been at ease with it. I had spoken to Jorah about these things. Jon was different; it seemed that one small detail had changed our relationship forever. And I was never able to turn it back.

"Dany, don't worry about Cersei." He took a step closer. "Worry about how you will win the people."

"I can't." I looked at him. "I don't know how to win people."

"How did you do it before?"

"I liberated them." I hesitated, not knowing what I did to keep them. "And…"

"You ruled them justly. You were their queen, and you'll have to do the same here. Show me how…"

"Mad," I added. I had spoken a word I wanted to keep in my head for so long. Something I feared for so long, the idea that I had the potential to become truly mad. He looked at me in confusion, he never had seen a trace of madness in me, but he didn't know how I felt, the words that went through my mind when he wasn't near. He didn't realise the impulses I had to fight. He didn't know I wanted to burn all of King's Landing for just a moment. And I didn't know if I wanted him to know.

"You showed Varys mercy," Jon said. "You understood the reason why Tyrion did what he did. What you are feeling is not madness; it's emotion. You've lost so much. It's only natural that you're feeling something. Otherwise, you wouldn't be human. Let yourself feel."

"I can't think about what I've lost." I sat down on the steps once more. I looked right in front of me. Jon was a few meters from me. "King's Landing is too big to search. She could still be here, waiting to strike."

"I'll worry about that." Jon took a step closer. "I promised to serve you, my queen, and I will find Cersei Lannister for you. We will bring justice."

That moment I didn't feel like a responsibility fell from my shoulders. I felt everything coming back to me, I felt sick, and my whole world spun. I stood up, taking a few steps forward. And then right there I fell back. Jon was able to catch me in his arms.

"You're not well." He said. "Do you need a doctor."

"I'm well," I said as I wanted to get up, but the power didn't let me. He pulled me closer to his body; I felt the warmth I had missed so much. This was the first moment I noticed how cold I had been the last days. The first moment I understood how exhausted I was. He carried me upstairs, to a bedroom of the red keep. I wondered who's room this had been; I wondered in which room my father and brother would have stayed. I welcomed the softness of the bed, the warmth of the covers. Everything seemed perfect, but I couldn't push away, that Cersei was somewhere out there. There was no way she would go on with her life. In her mind, I had taken everything from here and needed to pay for it. I looked Jon in the eye; I took his hand in mine. I smiled at him.

"I'm getting a healer." He said.

"Jon Snow, you will do no such thing." I looked at him. "I have been under a lot of pressure; I have been eating very little. I…"

"Should I get you something?" He asked right away.

I nodded; he walked from the room. That moment I could look around. It seemed that this room hadn't been used for a very long time. Only now I noticed there was a thick layer of dust on the covers. I couldn't care about it; the warmth felt so welcoming. I could sleep, but I made myself remain awake. My mind slipped to Cersei Lannister once more. What would I do if I found her? The most significant part wanted to punish her, but a large part of me remembered Tyrion telling me she was pregnant. Could I kill a defenceless child? Sure it was unborn, but it was there. I thought about me, what they had done to my baby. No, I couldn't do so.

A few minutes later, Jon entered the room with a plate of food. He watched as I ate everything, I think he feared I wouldn't. He feared for me, and it was noticeable in every part of his face. I felt strength return to the body, but he wouldn't let me stand up. He told me to take things quietly.

I didn't want to. I needed to do so much. I wanted too much.

"Dany, you need to rest." He said. "Jorah wouldn't want you to…"

I looked him in the eye; he didn't know what to say. He knew Jorah didn't want me to get hurt, and somehow, he believed standing up would do that very thing. I looked at him as I lay down. My body started to relax, but then a second later, it would tense up again. I couldn't lay back when Cersei was out there, and I couldn't let Jon tell me what to do. I needed to get on Drogon, fly over King's Landing and find her, but when I tried to get up, I felt a drop of energy and dizziness get to me. I cried it turned out that the emotions I had been holding back for so long came rushing back. I couldn't protect these people.

Every second I cried, it became worst, this moment I didn't scream. I just cried. Jon stood there; I could tell he wanted to rush towards me, something, however, stopped him. Maybe he saw a mad queen. Perhaps this wasn't an emotion, after all, perhaps it was this emotion that drove me mad. I looked at Jon, the tears became worst, and it was that moment he rushed to my side. He took me in his arms, and I felt safe in his arms. His head rested on mine.

"You'll be okay, Dany." He said. "I swear that I will do everything to protect you."

He will do everything to protect me; I wondered why he said this. Would he defend me because I was his queen, or would he protect me because he was in love with me? It was a minimal difference, but it could change everything. For some reason, I hoped there was love for me. I stopped crying, and for a second, I wanted to ask him.

"Do you love me?" I shouldn't have said that, but I did. I wanted to know right now. I looked to him; he showed a strong emotion. He didn't let me go; he looked me in the eye. Slowly he kissed me. Was this the answer? His kiss told me he loved me; it hadn't been like before. Somehow I kept thinking we were related, that I shouldn't be doing this. It, however, was something I couldn't control. When the kiss ended, he looked me in the eye.

"Of course I love you, Dany." He smiled. "And not because you are my Queen, I love you even if you weren't a queen. Even if you didn't have dragons, nothing could change that. But it worries me how you've been acting; you think you are strong, that you can't share anything with me. Dany, you can share everything with me. I won't judge. And let me tell you, you are not going mad."

"How do you know?" I looked at him. "How do you know what's going through my head? I have my father's blood; he went mad. He killed your uncle and grandfather."

"And you had nothing to do with it." He moved some hair away from my face. "It was way before you were born."

I stood up, there was dizziness I felt right away, but I fought it. I walked towards the window, behind me Jon said I needed to keep laying down. That I needed to take care of myself, but I didn't listen. From the window, I saw the city, and I saw something I hadn't expected, from their small windows banners of Targaryen were flying. Tears came to my face; there were banners at almost every house. They supported me. Jon was standing behind me.

"I told you they would love you."

My heart beat faster when I walked down the stairs; I told Tyrion to call the people together. It took a few hours, but when I walked out with Drogon by my side, I was welcomed by cheering. People called out for me, celebrating my return. That moment I became of King's Landing and in the future the Seven Kingdoms.

I stepped in front of them. When I looked in the crowd, I felt like I was continually searching for Cersei Lannister. Or anyone else.

"My friends." I started my speech. "I have liberated you from the grasp of Cersei Lannister, who has escaped. I ask you to keep your eyes open for her. I pledge myself to protect each one of you. And I will do my very best, so you are all fed."

For some reason, I kept looking around during my speech, looking for someone who could point me to Cersei Lannister. The crowd was to busy to see anyone. People were cheering, and I couldn't see any detail. I know I should be enjoying this moment, but I have a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, almost like I can see something terrible happen. That moment everything went slow, and then I'm awakened by a scream from the crowd. The next thing I notice was Euron Greyjoy with a bow and arrow. I'm almost expecting to feel pain, to have the arrow hit me. But it doesn't.

Every neuron tells me to run; they ask me to get saved. I don't know what to do; I wait for the pain to hit. It doesn't. It's then, the world seeps back in. The first thing I see is Grey Worm in front of me; an arrow lodged in his upper right shoulder. There is blood everywhere. I duck down, afraid that a next arrow will hit me. That is the moment I see that Jon carriers Euron to me.

"What do you want me to do with him, Dany?" He looks me in the eye.

"Bring him to the dungeons," I reply.

The next moment I scream for a healer to get to Grey Worm. I sit down next to him. He looks me in the eye, I know he is thinking about Misandei. About what will be an afterlife, I hold him closer. The unsullied are around me.

"I'm sorry…" I whisper to him.

"Don't be sorry, my queen."

That moment I know it was a message from Cersei, I know that she's still out there. I know that she must have met Euron on the way out that she told him to kill me. I know she will send more attacks in my direction. I felt worried as Grey worm lays by my feet hurt. The people are in a panic. Then I step in front of the crowd and do what any good ruler would do. I hide everything I feel and rule them.

This is what I was born to do.

* * *

AN: I have been so delighted seeing the following this story has been receiving. I love the idea that people read it and get to see a different Dany. Thanks for the follows, favourites and reviews. You make my day. I hope you keep loving this story. Tell me what you think of this story and what you expect of the future. Love, Tempe.

If you follow a story, that's awesome. But if you have a little time, please me a review with your thoughts. I would mean the world to me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: A message sent**

I don't know how long I sat on that bed. Grey Worm had been attacked, and an arrow had hit him in the upper right shoulder. They had sent medical attention to him right away. This moment all I could remember was the blood on the pavement, waves of nausea went through my body. I should have known Cersei would send someone to kill me. I, however, didn't think she would send Euron Greyjoy. The man that murdered my dragon. A part of me wanted to kill him at sight, but I needed information from him. He knew things, and I find out what he knew. I had asked the guards to bring Euron to the dungeons; there, he would wait for interrogation. In my mind, he didn't deserve kindness; he deserved to be punished for the lives that he had taken.

I got up from the bed and felt a rush of emotion. I felt guilty; Grey Worm had stepped in front of me. He had risked his own life so I would live. I thought about him; he had lost Misandei; they were supposed to be happy together. And now only his duty remained. When I got up, a wave of nausea hit me. I ran towards the window emptying the contents of my stomach. My whole world was spinning; I could only think about what had happened to me. Drogon was somewhere around the city. If I needed him, he would arrive within seconds. When I looked out of the window, I saw him in the sky.

Even after all this time, he still looked beautiful to me. I wondered what Drogon would do to Euron Greyjoy, the man that had killed his brother. If I looked at him, I knew he would want revenge for his brother, and I wanted to same, but I needed to play this game. I needed to get information that could lead me to Cersei Lannister.

I turned around and returned to bed. In all truth, I felt better when I lay down on the bed. I assumed the emotions of the last months were getting to me. I had never really stopped to feel any emotion; I always kept moving forward. Now the list of deaths in my life came to my mind, and I felt pain for each of them. I felt stronger for those more recent, but every pain that I hadn't left myself feel had come back. I don't think I could explain what I felt to anyone.

A knock at the door, Tyrion entered my sleeping quarters. I sat up as I stared at him. He walked closer; I saw that he wasn't quite sure what to say. People who entered this room didn't know how to speak to me.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "I'm sorry for asking, but you've been looking pale the last days. I have the urge you to remain…"

"I know…" I lay my head down. "I have been eating. Jon has been making sure I would. Have you spoken to Euron Greyjoy? Has he said anything about Cersei?"

"Well, we can almost be sure that Euron Greyjoy did what Cersei asked him." He looked at me in guilt. "I'm sorry, Daenerys. I had no idea that Cersei would do such thing. I mean, it's complicated, she played me. She used her situation in her advance, that's what she always does, but I truly believe she loves her child. She would do everything for her child."

"Well, that is useful." I wanted to stand up, but couldn't. "So she wouldn't attack me herself; she would fear the safety of her child. I have told my army to spare Cersei on sight. I've given the message with the utmost importance. Euron, I don't know what to do with. He's killed Rhaegal; I want him punished for his crimes of war. I'm sure I'm not the only one he's committed crimes against. You are my hand; what do I do? I can't give him a trail, which gives him a right for a trial by combat. I know you know what that means. He can't get away, but after the mistakes I made. I don't want to make a mistake again, but I can't let him get away with it. No one can think it's okay, to assassinate anyone. So what do I do?"

"You'll make mistakes." Tyrion watched me. "Any good ruler makes mistakes."

"I know everyone makes mistakes, but why do I feel like I can't afford any mistakes anymore? It was Varys who believed I was unfit to rule with compassion. He thought Jon was better. What if he's right? What if…"

"The fact you speak your fears towards me is a good start…" He looked at me. "Every person has the impulse to make mistakes; we're all human, Dani. Don't forget that; you've been through a lot in the fast month. You've lost a lot, and you've been able to keep yourself from drowning. That tells a lot about what kind of ruler you would be. And about Euron, I don't know what to do with him. I do know we need to keep talking to him; maybe we could Cersei's whereabouts out of him."

"Yes, you should keep trying." I stood up, slowly walked towards the window. The Targaryen banners were still waving in the wind. A soft smile appeared on my lips. I turned to Tyrion once again. "How is Grey Worm?"

"He was lucky," Tyrion said. "We were able to save him. However, he is mad, they killed Missandei, and now they tried to kill you, his queen. He wants blood. He wants to search the city for Cersei."

"I highly doubt if Cersei is still in King's Landing. And searching the whole of Seven Kingdoms is no use. There are other priorities now. We need to get everyone after our cause. Peacefully unite the seven kingdoms, behind one ruler with a council representing every kingdom. No more small council, we need the needs of every kingdom represented in our council. Voices that are not represented tend to rebel. Tyrion, I urge you to set up a meeting. One that will decide the future of Westeros."

"Of course, my Queen."

When I looked up, I noticed that Jon Snow was standing in the door opening. His eyes were focused on my face. The last days I had gotten pretty bad at feeling what Jon was thinking. He tried to hide every single emotion from me, and these few days, it had worked pretty well. I think he wanted to spare my feelings, but somehow, I felt cut off from him. I loved Jon Snow; even he was my nephew. Sometimes enjoying him felt weird, but now it felt like something I needed. Something that made my days worth living. I looked at Tyrion when he walked away. Jon took a step closer to me; he asked me to lay down once again. I shook my head; I wanted to stand. I had been sleeping way too much the last days.

"My queen, don't you think you need to see a healer."

"I'm well." I walked to the other side of the room. "You shouldn't worry about me that much. It's all getting to me, times have been stressful."

"It just seems more than that Dani." He looked at her. "I love you; I don't want anything to happen to you. Is it true that you called the leaders of the seven kingdoms?"

"Yes."

"Don't you think that's a bit too stressful right now?" He looked at me. "I think we should wait for some."

I felt a wave of nausea hit me. I ran to the window and threw up the contents of my stomach. Why did this have to happen when he was here, it proved I might not be strong enough. It proved that I shouldn't be calling the lord and the ladies, but I wouldn't show weakness to the kingdom. They needed to know I was ready to change the country.

"I need Sam." I looked at him.

"What do you need Sam for?"

"I told the world I wanted to break the wheel. And I just thought about it; we need to change the way the country is ruled. I think Sam could help me with it. Get me Sam and Gilly to King's Landing. Please."

"I don't think you're ready to think about it." He walked towards me. "Why don't you rest some?"

"I'm not weak." I looked at him. "I'm sick and tired of people feeling sorry for me. I have a kingdom to rule; I have no time for my body breaking down. I need to pull myself together and become the leader I need to be. I need you to be with me."

He kneeled before me; his eyes looked in mine. The last time I had seen so much adoration, it had been from Drogo. Now it was another man, that loved me. He was worried about me, but I didn't need that. My emotions were causing everything; I needed to leave my bedchambers. That way, I would be better off. I took his hand and looked him in the eyes.

"You are my Queen, and I love you more than anything in the world. I will call on Sam for you." He looked me in the eye. "I'm with you every single step of the way. I promise that, but you need to promise to listen to your body. The country needs you if you wish to much of your body, you will break down. I don't want that."

"Okay." He looked me in the eye. "But I'm sure it's…"

"You've been dizzy, you've been sick, this sounds like…"

"Don't say it." I looked at him. "You know that we can't conceive. I don't want you to insinuate that I could be pregnant, because I can't be. It's impossible. I don't want to feed my dreams; I won't be able to handle it."

"Is this still because what the witch said?" His voice sounded kind. "Because she could be…"

"I'm not pregnant." I looked at him. "Can you please leave? I can't handle any more of this hope. I don't want to hope something, to lose it again. So leave. Don't forget to call Sam for me."

"Dani…" He looked at me, he took a step closer, refusing my request to leave. He pulled me in a hug; I invited the gesture. I needed it; I needed to cry. So I did.

"I'm sorry, Jon." I looked him in the eye. "Maybe the hope is too much for me. You don't know how much I have wanted a child in my life, but the dragons are the only ones I will ever get. And I've already lost two of them."

"Maybe things have changed for you…" He looked at me.

"No, those things have no changed." I looked at him. "Get me Sam, and I will change the world children live in. Will you do that for me?"

"I will do anything for you."


End file.
